Red Ribbon Week 2010: Talking With Your Kids About Drugs

This was a record breaking year for Motivational School Shows. We did an incredible number of "Just Say No" assemblies in Austin, Houston, Dallas, and throughout Central Texas! We want to say "Thank You" to all the schools that hosted our programs and to all the schools that immediately booked for next year!

Just because Red Ribbon Week 2010 is over, it doesn't mean that we can stop thinking about it messages. This year we were able to reach out to thousands of students. This blog however is for the parents of those students. Listed below are some helpful tips. Hopefully some of this informaiton will be useful to you when talking with your child about the dangers of drugs.

TALKING WITH AND LISTENING TO YOUR CHILD

Many parents hesitate to discuss alcohol and other drug use with their child.  Some of us believe that our children couldn't become involved with illegal substances.  Others delay because we don't know what to say or how to say it, or we are afraid of putting ideas into our children's heads.

Don't wait until you think your child has a problem.  Many young people in treatment programs say that they had used alcohol and other drugs for at least two years before their parents knew about it. Begin early to talk about alcohol and other drugs, and keep the lines of communication open.
 

Don't be afraid to admit that you don't have all the answers.  Let your child know that you are concerned, and that you can work together to find answers.  Here are some basic hints for improving your ability to talk with your child about alcohol and other drugs:

• Be a good listener. Make sure your child feels comfortable bringing problems or questions to you. Listen closely to what your child says. Don't allow anger at what you hear to end the discussion. If necessary, take a 5 minute break to calm down before continuing. Take note of what your child is not saying, too. If the child does not tell you about problems, take the initiative and ask questions about what is going on at school or in other activities.
 

• Be available to discuss even sensitive subjects. Young people need to know that they can rely on their parents for accurate information about subjects that are important to them. If your child wants to discuss something at a time when you can't give it full attention, explain why you can't talk, set a time to talk later, and then carry through on it!
 

• Give lots of praise. Emphasize the things your youngster is doing right instead of always focusing on things that are wrong. When parents are quicker to praise than to criticize, children learn to feel good about themselves, and they develop the self- confidence to trust their own judgment.
 

• Give clear messages. When talking about the use of alcohol and other drugs, be sure you give your child a clear no-use message, so that the child will know exactly what is expected. For example, "In our family we don't allow the use of illegal drugs, and children are not allowed to drink."
 

• Model good behavior. Children learn by example as well as teaching. Make sure that your own actions reflect the standards of honesty, integrity, and fair play that you expect of your child.

COMMUNICATION TIPS

Effective communication between parents and children is not always easy to achieve. Children and adults have different communication styles and different ways of responding in a conversation. In addition, timing and atmosphere may determine how successful communication will be.  Parents should make time to talk with their children in a quiet, unhurried manner. The following tips are designed to make communication more successful.

LISTENING
 

• Pay attention.
• Don't interrupt.
• Don't prepare what you will say while your child is speaking.
• Reserve judgment until your child has finished and has asked you for a response.
   

LOOKING
 

• Be aware of your child's facial expression and body language. Is your child nervous or uncomfortable--frowning, drumming fingers, tapping a foot, looking at the clock? Or does your child seem relaxed--smiling, looking you in the eyes? Reading these signs will help parents know how the child is feeling.
• During the conversation, acknowledge what your child is saying- -move your body forward if you are sitting, touch a shoulder if you are walking, or nod your head and make eye contact.

RESPONDING

•  “I am very concerned about...." or "I understand that it is sometimes difficult ...." are better ways to respond to your child than beginning sentences with "You should," or "If I were you," or "When I was your age we didn't...." Speaking for oneself sounds thoughtful and is less likely to be considered a lecture or an automatic response.
•  If your child tells you something you don't want to hear, don't ignore the statement
• Don't offer advice in response to every statement your child makes. It is better to listen carefully to what is being said and try to understand the real feelings behind the words.
• Make sure you understand what your child means. Repeat things to your child for confirmation.